Hi! My name is Pavla and I like puns, even when they don’t make complete sen$e. (get it?)Tumblr (3.0; @shittyjokes)http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/“<p>Q: What is a DJ’s favorite vegetable?</p> <p>A: BEETS! </p> <p>(lolaturniptable?)</p>”http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/34554989http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/34554989Mon, 12 May 2008 12:26:54 -0400<p>I went to have brunch at this fancy French restaurant that I heard had amazing french toast. But upon ordering the delicious dish, the French waiter just brought me a glass of champagne and a speech.</p> <p>(Lolapoisson?)</p>http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/30701202http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/30701202Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:51:38 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="302" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=674071&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=674071&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=674071&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="302"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>A few months ago, I debuted some of my shitty jokes in the form of stand-up. It was my first time ever doing something like this, but luckily the crowd was a group of very supportive friends. My dear pal <a href="http://heyletsrage.com/" title="Amanda">Amanda</a> video-taped my “performance.” </p> <p>Consider this a collector’s item, because I think this is the type of thing that people only go to see once. </p>http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/30014303http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/30014303Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:12:17 -0400<p>Ever since my grandpa immigrated, he stopped being superstitious. He would always say, “I am in America now. And this is no country for OMEN!”</p> <p>(LOLscars?)</p>http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/29812899http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/29812899Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:22:44 -0400“<p>Q: What do you call a ‘Famous Amos’ cookie that lives around the Earth?</p> <p>A: an AMOSPHERE!!</p>”<br/><br/> - <em>(lolereallybad?)</em>http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/29225048http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/29225048Tue, 18 Mar 2008 18:22:49 -0400<p>My other personality has a much lower voice than the one I usually use. That’s why I refer to it as my ALTO EGO. </p> <p>(LMAniacO?)</p>http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28860279http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28860279Fri, 14 Mar 2008 12:49:20 -0400<a href="http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/cga/lowres/cgan177l.jpg">QQ: Do you think birds don't eat while flying because they would get fed UP?</a>: (hahahawk?)http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28785699http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28785699Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:12:31 -0400<p>My fortune cookie just said, “Your artistic talents win the approval and applause of others.” I thought, “Omigod! What if this means I really <em>do</em> have a career in comedy!” But then I realized that it was only trying to sweet talk me into not eating it.</p> <p>(lolunch?)</p>http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28671309http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28671309Wed, 12 Mar 2008 14:18:06 -0400<a href="http://www.eaudrey.com/myth/images/Centaur.gif">QQ: How much do you think one CENTaur would cost? </a>: (lolamythicalcreature?)http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28579915http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28579915Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:39:46 -0400<p>Some of my dude friends are unable to grow facial hair. I think this is sort of cute, but I suspect it makes some of them feel a little bit insecure. I don’t like it when my friends feel bad about themselves, so I have thought up a fun present I can give to these pals that will make them feel better: A t-shirt with a picture of a goat on it. When I give it to them I say, “I am sorry that you cannot grow a beard. But now you at least have a goat-tee!” </p> <p>(lolabustedtee?) </p>http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28462234http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28462234Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:40:52 -0400“<p>Q: Why did my favorite pair of shoes get arrested for drug possession? </p> <p>A: Because they were HIGH tops! </p> <p>(hee heeL?)</p>”http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28147276http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28147276Thu, 06 Mar 2008 15:48:39 -0500<p>I have always wonderd this about people that work in tuxedo shops: When a customer enters the store, instead of asking, “How may I help you?” do they say “How may I suit you?”  And if the customer declines their help, do they get mad and say, “Fine! Suit yourself!” ?</p> <p>(lolertie?)</p>http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28030865http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/28030865Wed, 05 Mar 2008 12:05:46 -0500“<p>Q: How does a punny person ask their hair stylist to cut them some bangs?</p> <p>A: By saying, “I’d like to go out with a bang, please.” </p> <p>(lolasnip?)</p>”http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/27954613http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/27954613Tue, 04 Mar 2008 13:39:12 -0500<br/><p>Do you think that people from Oregon live in a constant state of mild suspense? Mostly because of the possible grammatical misinterpretation of the following hypothetical question: “Do you live in Portland, Or ?”</p> <p>LOrL?  </p>http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/27650697http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/27650697Fri, 29 Feb 2008 19:23:41 -0500“<p>Q: Why do really nice people like hanging out at the beach?</p> <p>A: Because the ocean is soooo friendly. It’s always waving!!</p> <p>(LOLbster?)</p>”http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/27435424http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/27435424Wed, 27 Feb 2008 11:33:13 -0500<p>If I had two geese that liked to complain a lot as pets, I would be sure to name them both Louise. That way, I could always exclaim, “GEESE LOUISE!!!”</p> <p>(lolerlolzies?) </p>http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/27350409http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/27350409Tue, 26 Feb 2008 13:47:39 -0500“<p>Someone brought a cheese platter to a recent potluck. It was SOOO goud(a)!!</p> <p>(lolermouse?)</p>”http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/27262314http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/27262314Mon, 25 Feb 2008 15:08:22 -0500<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/8TjzKeWet5ntgxvpEXw3uTUY_500.gif"/><br/><br/><p>I am crazy excited about the lunar eclipse tonight! You could even say I am a LUNAtic about it! </p> <p>(moonlolz?)</p>http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/26837733http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/26837733Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:22:00 -0500“<p>Q: What do lady philosophers look for, when dating gentlemen philosophers?</p> <p>A: A sense of HUMEor!</p> <p>(intelLOLctual?)</p>”http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/26751850http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/26751850Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:30:58 -0500<p>My initials are PM. You could say that I am quite the Night Owl. </p> <p>(what a HOOT?) </p>http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/26431470http://shittyjokes.tumblr.com/post/26431470Fri, 15 Feb 2008 13:22:32 -0500