Q: What do lady philosophers look for, when dating gentlemen philosophers?
A: A sense of HUMEor!
(intelLOLctual?)
Q: How does a boy scout fall in love?
A: By tying the knot!
In celebration of Uno, the first Beagle in the history of the Wesminster Dog Show to ever win Best In Show, I bring you this thought**:
“If my name was Noah, and I had a beagle, I would definately name it Bagel. Not only would it be funny to have a beagle named Bagel, but it would be Noah’s Bagel.”
A little (cream) cheesy, I know, but just look at this mug!
(woof?)
**please note this may be a regional shitty joke. for all you east coasters, the west coast has a popular bagel chain called, “Noah’s New York Style Bagels.”
Q: If sports teams in the United States get in trouble for taking steroids, then what do sports teams on the North Pole get in trouble for taking?
A: Polaroids!!
(LOLzies?)
I was born in a communist country, and growing up things were often rough. But my parents always taught me to find humor in hardship, and I would say that I’ve grown up to be quite the little commie-dien.
(knee slap?)
Q: What does a pessimistic horse say?
A: I would think “nay” (neigh!) but the last pessimistic horse I talked to actually said ‘Man, my hay stack is always so half empty!’
(LOLapalooza?)
I wish there was a band called “None Of Your Business.” I would listen to them on my iTunes all the time. That way, when people asked me what I was listening to, I would always have a catty-sounding response.
(lmao?)
Q: Isn’t it Fe-ic?*
Q: Don’t you think?
Lately I have been a little bit nervous because I do not have health insurance. Specifically, dental coverage. However, I just got a new roommate and it turns out that she is a dentist! So I signed up for her plan immediately. It’s called Coinci-DENTAL.
(teethheehee?)