2008
May
Q: What is a DJ’s favorite vegetable? A: BEETS!...
May 12th
Apr
En Francais...
I went to have brunch at this fancy French restaurant that I heard had amazing french toast. But...
Apr 3rd
Mar
Watch
A few months ago, I debuted some of my shitty jokes in the form of stand-up. It was my first time...
Mar 27th
Coen Brohahas
Ever since my grandpa immigrated, he stopped being superstitious. He would always say, “I am...
Mar 25th
Q: What do you call a ‘Famous Amos’ cookie that...
— (lolereallybad?)
Mar 18th
Split PersonLOLity
My other personality has a much lower voice than the one I usually use. That’s why I refer to...
Mar 14th
QQ: Do you think birds don't eat while flying...
Mar 13th
Lucky Numbers 3, 8, 10, 11, 12, 29
My fortune cookie just said, “Your artistic talents win the approval and applause of...
Mar 12th
QQ: How much do you think one CENTaur would...
Mar 11th
Beards.
Some of my dude friends are unable to grow facial hair. I think this is sort of cute, but I suspect...
Mar 10th
Q: Why did my favorite pair of shoes get arrested for drug...
Mar 6th
If it suits you...
I have always wonderd this about people that work in tuxedo shops: When a customer enters the store,...
Mar 5th
Q: How does a punny person ask their hair stylist to cut...
Mar 4th
Portland...
Do you think that people from Oregon live in a constant state of mild suspense? Mostly because of...
Mar 1st
Feb
Q: Why do really nice people like hanging out at the...
Feb 27th
Quack-A-Laugh
If I had two geese that liked to complain a lot as pets, I would be sure to name them both Louise....
Feb 26th
Someone brought a cheese platter to a recent potluck. It was...
Feb 25th
I am crazy excited about the lunar eclipse tonight! You...
Feb 20th
Q: What do lady philosophers look for, when dating gentlemen...
Feb 19th
Night Laugh
My initials are PM. You could say that I am quite the Night Owl. (what a HOOT?)
Feb 15th
Q: How does a boy scout fall in love? A: By tying the...
— Happy Heart Day!
Feb 14th
Barky Breakfast
In celebration of Uno, the first Beagle in the history of the Wesminster Dog Show to ever win Best...
Feb 13th
Q: If sports teams in the United States get in trouble for...
Feb 12th
Red Laugh
I was born in a communist country, and growing up things were often rough. But my parents always...
Feb 11th
Q: What does a pessimistic horse say? A: I would think...
Feb 8th
Catty Laugh
I wish there was a band called “None Of Your Business.” I would listen to them on my...
Feb 7th
Q: Isn’t it Fe-ic?* Q: Don’t you think?
— *Will only get if you are a...
Feb 6th
Comedic Coincidence
Lately I have been a little bit nervous because I do not have health insurance. Specifically, dental...
Feb 5th
Q: What does a claustrophobic cow say? A: Moooooo-ve over,...
Feb 4th
Winter Math Equation (Transitive...
Bears heart honey. Bears = hibernation hibernation = zzzzzz bees make honey. bees =...
Feb 1st
Jan
Q: What do you call a really really cool real estate...
Jan 31st
Pelvic To Be Square!
Thanks to my pal Amanda for reminding me that I had made up this joke. It was truly a forgotten gem:...
Jan 30th
I heard that Darth Vader’s sister *hated* taking the...
Jan 30th