I went to have brunch at this fancy French restaurant that I heard had amazing french toast. But upon ordering the delicious dish, the French waiter just brought me a glass of champagne and a speech.
(Lolapoisson?)
Ever since my grandpa immigrated, he stopped being superstitious. He would always say, “I am in America now. And this is no country for OMEN!”
(LOLscars?)
My other personality has a much lower voice than the one I usually use. That’s why I refer to it as my ALTO EGO.
(LMAniacO?)
My fortune cookie just said, “Your artistic talents win the approval and applause of others.” I thought, “Omigod! What if this means I really do have a career in comedy!” But then I realized that it was only trying to sweet talk me into not eating it.
(lolunch?)
Some of my dude friends are unable to grow facial hair. I think this is sort of cute, but I suspect it makes some of them feel a little bit insecure. I don’t like it when my friends feel bad about themselves, so I have thought up a fun present I can give to these pals that will make them feel better: A t-shirt with a picture of a goat on it. When I give it to them I say, “I am sorry that you cannot grow a beard. But now you at least have a goat-tee!”
(lolabustedtee?)